That Silly, Delicate Dick Dance

It was a long day. I was up, not too early, but had to drive 100 miles to work, and then back down to Grandma and Grandpa's weekend home to hook up with the family, to take the kids fishing as I promised. Long, shitty day at work, when I should have been taking it easy on a 3-day weekend with my family.

And somewhere in all of this I'm thinking how nice it would be to get laid. More precisely, how wonderful it would be to lie down in a soft bed in the dark or in the light with my wife and give and receive pleasure. It's been a full 6 and one-half days now, so yeah, I'm ready. I've been thinking about it for the last day or so, and I'm ready. And I was thinking that maybe I'd be successful this evening.

Now I don't initiate anymore. I get way too horny too often, and have been shut down and rejected, quite coldly sometimes, way too many times to make it worth my while to attempt to initiate sex with the wife. So I just plain don't anymore. If horny, I just JO on my own. It's easier for all involved, and a lot less painful. But I still can't help but get a little pissed off, a lot more than I should, at how long it takes the wife to get up the urge or whatever, to actually initiate sex.

I look for all of the little signs, and I try to make things move toward the goal, but I just never know. Today when I got back from work, I went straight to eat so I could get the kids down to the dock before it got dark. I got a pretty nice welcome from the wife--not a hug or a kiss, mind you--but a pretty solid expression of sympathy for me having to go to work, for being so tired, and for being a good dad for heading out with the kids right away.

Okay, no problem. We'll see how things go. I do the fishing, and the kids are finally clean and in bed by about 10:30. I tell my daughter to mention to Mommy that I'm showering, an indirect communiction that I will be clean, therefore physically acceptable for physical coupling. That's my little seed that I plant.

And then nothing. I watch a little college foo'ball on the goggle box, then it's time for bed. I come in to the bedroom and play a bit of computer. Then the wife comes in. I notice that she closes teh bedroom door behind her; that's a big positive. Then she goes into the adjoining bathroom and goes potty, another big positive. Then she lies down on the bed opposite the computer desk. That's another positive.

And that's that. I'm paying attention to this, but at no time is she saying anything about sex. Nothing at all. She's still got her clothes on, so there's no visual invitation. She doesn't say anything at all about sex, no invitation in the least, whether subtle or raunchy. I'm waiting for something like, "Why don't you leave the PC and come over here," or maybe "Wouldn't you rather lie down here with me instead of play that game?" You know, anything like that I cold sign up for. Or, she could just strip down, spread her legs and clear her throat to get my attention--that would be very nice indeed (although, sadly, wildly out of character). Where's a set of that sexy lingerie I've spent so many hundreds of dollars on, that I keep saying that I'd like to see and never do?

So I keep playing the game. There is no invitation from her, nothing at all. And she just goes to sleep. Well, if she was horny, then it must not have been that strong, right? If she came to me for sex, I guess then she just didn't have that great a need. So I have to wonder if she just came down to comfort me, to console me. If so, the desire to do even that clearly wasn't too strong. She'd rather just go to sleep, as is the case most of the time.

A good 30 minutes later she wakes up. I tell her she ought to go to bed if she's so tired. She agrees and says something snippy about me playing a computer game. I play dumb, wanting to tell her that if she's offering sex, then just get off your ass and fucking offer it! She makes another stupid comment about how she I'd "clearly rather play on the computer." Okay, instead of what? What exactly was the alternative? It was never offered, so I didn't make any move to accept.

She goes off to bed in another room, and I sit here and write a bit about it. Strangely enough, I'm not missing it too much. Was really horny earlier today, hoping she'd come to me in the morning as she has done before. Nope, none of that. So when I went up to town for work I stopped in at home and had a lovely quick JO at home, in the delightful quiet and utter solitude of an empty house. Problem solved, and physical need met. No big deal. She's the one who missed out this evening. She needs to make clear statements, and if she's seducing, then she needs to issue a clear, unequivocal seduction.

Okay, time to go to sleep.