I Really, Really Want . . .

A light saber. A blaster is handy and useful, sure, but a light sabre, now that's a weapon for a warrior. Elegant, simple, and requiring mastery.

A ride into space.

A ride in a high-performance military jet aircraft, like an A-10 Thunderbolt II, or an F-15 Eagle.

To be invisible.

To be able to fly.

To be able to read minds.

To be completely free of fear and anxiety of any sort. This one is very, very hard, probably even more impossible than any of those listd above or below. So many things to be worried, so many unknowns and possibilities. So much danger, and life is so fragile.

Psychokinetic powers. My dream is to make the transmission fall out of inconsiderate drivers.

A BMW M6.

The knowledge of time travel.

The knowledge of teleportation. I could fix a lot of the world's problems with teleportation. And make some nice money, too.

A real laser weapon.

To be able to fold space.

A cool little hat with a tassle, like the one that old guy had in The Road to Wellville.

A fully integrated, whole-house audio/video/computer/lighting control smart-house system.

To know the real truth about earth and the aliens and UFOs.

A wife who really, really knew the true power and majesty of the female form in sexy lingerie, and who'd act accordingly.

A nice little surprise, every day.

To know if there is a God, and what he's really all about.

To live a good long time, at least 90 years (assuming I stay healthy).

To find and read more books that I truly enjoy; there are so few.

To understand what in the holy hell my parents are all about; to understand what it is exactly they think of me, and why that is.

To see more, many more people throughout the world educated, properly educated. The ignorant and uninformed are easily led and swayed, while the educated tend to ask more questions, tend to have a bit more skepticism, tend to see through the bullshit that the manipulative political or religious or economic elite may try to use. The educated tend to think for themselves more, to seek their own solutions to evey manner of problem and question, rather than rely on those same manipulative jerks to provide their answers for them.

To see those who intentionally harm or abuse children suffer in horrible, horrible ways. That's former clergy, too, especially them.

To get the goddamn paper boy--no, that's inaccurate . . . the goddamn Eritrean immigrant paper guy--to get the newspaper each morning into my driveway and not into the middle of the puddle.

To see more tolerance for nudity and the consensual physical expression of attraction and love between adults. I'm not talking prime-time XXX showings, but something reasonable.

To put the same level of censorship and derision upon those who scream so loudly for it.

To find a way to publicly expose all of the hypocrisy that I see every day.

My own personal game room, with old-school arcade games, a nice pool table, a bar, other cool stuff, like an operating room light over the pool table.

To have a better memory for names, quotations, addresses and phone numbers, that kind of thing.