Moving Pictures

Consider The Fifth Element, as a perfect film. It's got everything, and just enough of it to make everyone happy. It's got action, explosions, shoot em' up, sci-fi space stuff, aliens, comedy, future history visions, a musical number, really bad guys, comical bad guys, and just the right amout of tasteful yet highly satisfying nudity. I've seen it dozens of times, and never get tired of watching it. The kids love it. Even the wife loves this film, which is pretty rare.

Another film I've seen dozens of times, more like hundreds of times now, is the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I've seen it in the theater somewhere over 60 times, although I never dressed up. I always wanted to be Eddie, but never had the courage to be it rather than dream it. Stumbled upon it the other night on cable, and stayed the entire way through to the end. Good, clean, alternative fun, and a wickedly sexy Susan Sarandon.

Loved Eurotrip. It was a teenager tits-and-poopy flick, sure, but had some other, highly original and subtle bits in there. Loved the opening titles, highly original and very entertaining from the get-go. Loved the Club Van Der Sexxxxxxx (is that the right number of "x"s?) bit, too, with the ridiculous safe word. Mike was utterly unconvincing as a German teenager, but then that really wasn't the point, right? The only part I didn't like was the female lead. Her acting and character were fine, but that beach scene in which she pulls off her shirt to reveal all of her ribs and pelvic bone jutting through her skin was nasty, bordering on disturbing. Given her unhealthy thinness, it's only logical to note that her impressive breasts have got to be fake, to be that size on a frame so clearly emaciated. She needs to put on some weight, get a little bit more healthy.

The next time you watch Ridley Scott's classic Blade Runner, keep in mind the basic question that the film explores: What is it to be human? This is the driving force behind the entire film and story. Can a human be manufactured, or is a human only organically produced from man and woman coupling? Can a real human be super-humanly strong, such as a replicant? No, not normally, but wouldn't all of us want that capability, if we could be born with it? Aren't we all capricious and vicious and bloodthirsty, like the replicants, especially when it comes to saving the lives of the ones we love, and our own lives? This is a brilliant film, in many ways, and keeping this question in your mind as you watch makes it better.

Keep your eye out in the exhilarating village attack sequence Apocalypse Now for one each R. Lee Ermey as a helo pilot.

Think about Kubrick's Dr. Strangelove. What is this strange love that America has for the bomb, for the power, for the ability to destroy all life on the planet? That's Kubrick's jumping-off point for the entire film.

Watched Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy the other night, and enjoyed it very much. I can see why it died such a rapid death in the USofA--too British. Too many English accents, and too many subtle references to English bureaucracy, which is no doubt lost on most of Dumbass America. Good effort by all involved, but it never had a chance in the US, not in competition with such ridiculous cinematic glop as Alien vs. Predator and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

Stay the hell away from the following:
"Stepford Wives." Absolute crap. Couldn't decide if it was hard, black comedy, or some stupid slapstick, sight-gag fluff. Tried both, failed at both.