Jim! Jim! No, It's Dave.

I was in the poshy mall across the street from my office building the other day at lunch when I hear a voice to my left rear saying insistently, "Jim! Hey! Jim!" Not being Jim, I kept on a-walking down the mall to the drugstore to buy a soda. Again, there it was, a little louder and a little closer, "Hey! Jim!!" And then even closer, the guy obviously now pursuing someone, closing, "Jim!!! Hey!!" The voice was right behind me.

And then I felt the hand on my shoulder. It wasn't a gentle touch, but it wasn't a slap or a shove. It was insistent. Not quite a slap, but not an easy "excuse me" either. I knew immediately it was the Hey Jim Guy, but that was about as far as I could see into this suddenly strange situation.

I turned, and immediately recognized my backyard neighbor, Duncan. He'ds bought his house behind our shed about a year after we moved in, and we'd talked a number of times out by the woodpile. We get along pretty well, but aren't close neighbors. I smiled and said, "Hey, Duncan, what's up?"

He was a little out of breath from the pursuit, "Man, Jim, I was screaming and screaming your name, but I guess you didn't hear me, huh?"

I smiled, trying to be gentle, and then just dropped it, "Dude, my name is Dave."

His face dropped a bit, the brow furrowed ever so slightly in confusion, but right away he was back up, moving forward. He changed the subject instantly, and I mean in the space of a heartbeat, to my pile of firewood out back and the tree house I'm building for the kids. He was deep into it, talking fast to keep me quiet. I had to wonder if he even heard me, but his insistence on yapping told me more than enough. Man, I thought, I'm terrible at names myself, but if I'd been caught in this kind of direct, no-shit, undeniable, one-on-one, face-to-face kind of flub, at least I'd have a laugh about it, admit it, and just come clean. But not Duncan, apparently. That was just something he couldn't roger up to, making that kind of admission.

I've seen him since a couple of times, and have noticed he hasn't called me by my name once. I wonder if I've fundamentally shaken his confidence in his name retention skills. Maybe he thinks I'm intentionally fucking with him, and the next time we meet I'll tell him my name is Sebastiani. Whatever.

What was really weird, what put the icing on this karmic cake was that no less than five hours later, as I was driving home, the following took place: I was listening to my favorite gonzo drive-time show, and there was a caller. The hosts punched him onto the line and said, "Hello, Dave." No answer. Now they had my direct attention, since they'd called my name out. Again, they tried to reach him, "Hey, Dave, talk to us, you're on the air," met only with radio-call-in-dumbass silence. One last time they tried, "Hey, Dave, are you there? Speak to us," and the guy answers, "No, guys, I'm Jim."

Pretty freaky, sure. Now the only thing I can't figure out is what the cosmic significance of this is. Am I being given a communication here, and if so, who's it from, and what is it about? Is it a message for me, Dave, or a message for Jim? And what exactly is the message? Does this make Duncan some kind of prophet, or just a hollow vessel?

Strange.