More Ignorant America

It's everywhere I go, inescapable. The facets of Ignorant America (IA) are everywhere, sparkling beacons of mediocrity, stupidity and foolishness on every corner, at every turn.

Ignorant America is a Fox sitcom made flesh.

IA wants to be a Fox sitcom, ideally "Married With Children."

IA actually has in-depth discussions of the pros and cons of some grotesquely thin starlet's $10,000 designer gown witnessed in disturbing detail at the previous evening's meaningless award show.

IA cries watching "Extreme Makeover Home Edition," never thinking to ask why the lucky lucky lucky 'winners' were such slothful, filthy, go-nowhere losers to begin with, or thinking ahead to what this dream house will look like given another 18 months.

IA is completely unaware that there is a TV show called "Nova."

IA doesn't save, and complains about working into retirement age.

IA medicates their children rather than parenting them.

IA expects teachers to be parents to their children.

IA has no concept of parental sacrifice.

IA has no problem with the extreme close-up depictions of disturbingly gory violence and bodily injury on CSI, but cannot even begin to grasp the concept of nudity.

IA doesn't know what frottage or coprophilia mean.

Ignorant Female America buys a bra that's one or two cup sizes too small, for whatever non-sensical reason, so that her ample bosom blossoms up and over the top and right on out, creating a stunningly stupid physical appearance, some kind of bulging ridge thing, betraying a distinct lack of attention to personal appearance.

IA expresses themselves public through the bumper sticker and vanity license plate.

IA avoids documentaries as a dangerous waste of time.