Declining CSI

Watched it last night, as just about every Thursday night. I watch because the wife digs the show, and I read the paper in my comfy recliner. CIS is okay, but to my mind not that great. It's certainly better than 99% of the rest of the mindless crap that's called television programming. I like CSI because, compared to the scum-sucking, soul-stealing drivel of "Wife-Swapping" and "Extreme Makeover" and "American Idle" and "Deal or No Deal" and (Your Favorite Show here), this show is a raging juggernaut of ringing intellectualism. They use science, logic, process, and teamwork to rapidly solve complex and intriguing problems, and that's the single best part of the show. William Peterson is a poetry-quoting brainiac, and a good leader and manager, too. The women are attractive and interesting individuals, not breast-augmented female icons who pretend at acting their parts.

But last night's show was full of the kind of declining quality that usually comes with a popular show. A good TV show starts to gain steam, and to expand that market the network suits dumb it down, and down, and right on down until you're watching "King of Queens" or some other popular vomit. Part of the appeal of a good show in the first place is that it's real and plausible, therefore different, and as the dumbing-down goes on, that appeal just bleeds away.

Last night's episode, for those of you who haven't seen it, was about the killing of a prominent female attorney. She was a vicious harpy, yeah, (although I thought she was pretty hot for an older babe) and I think the character got what she deserved. But that's not germane to this discussion.

Most of the show went well, with the investigation proceeding quickly and logically; I've got no problem with that aspect. But by the time the big breaks started to come, we were left with precious little programming time to actually wrap up the case. So we got a montage of all of the bridesmaids and other involved conspirators just spilling their collective, over-made-up and cocky guts to the investigators. Every single goddamn one of them. I mean, doesn't the Las Vegas PD Mirandize those whom they arrest? Or even if these folks weren't arrested, if they had been called to the station for questioning, since they're all very well off, why isn't they're not bright enough to demand their right to legal counsel? I mean, they were bright enough to pull off a rather elaborate and almost completely successful killing and cover-up on the fly, but none of them are smart enough to refuse to answer any police question without benefit of legal counsel?

The best man was the first shitty shining example. With a previous conviction for GTA, and assuming some jail time for that crime, you'd think he'd know better, but instead we get this overly dramatic, typical dumbass Hollywood cockiness and speech about how sexy it is to steal a car. Okay, a felon with a record just sits there and cops to the crime, GTA plus accessory after the fact to at the very least manslaughter and at the worst second degree murder? That's just crap, totally implausible crap. And he didn't even try to turn it to his advantage, to give up the killers to save his own ass, which after all, given the stupid speech he had to make, would have been exactly in-character for him.

And then all of the bridesmaids just copped to their respective roles in the crime, one, two, three. No lawyers present, no invocation of the Fifth Amendment, none of them wisely choosing to remain absolutely silent. None of them turning on the other, which again, given the (thin) character development we'd seen earlier, also would have been in-character. In the final two minutes of the show, they just all spill their guts and tie up everything neat and tidy so we can roll credits and get to the commercials. And the network thinks no one is noticing.

So, CSI, I ask you to return to the basics. It's good stuff what you're doing, and is still pretty good, but your quality standards are declining, and I can tell. It won't be long before others can tell, too. It's up to you: quality programming, which brought you the success you're enjoying now, or network-driven market increase, which will turn your quality show into a ridiculous "E.R." clone by next season.