Musing on the Red Blouse and All Them Bangles

I was at a working lunch with a local professional society today, and as things got really tedious about 2/3 of the way through, my attention drifted to the rest of the main dining room and what was going on. Nice enough place, a local favorite, a bit stuffy, but with the predictable decorations and such. Great traditional neighborhood place, but not really my kind of place.

And then the woman in the red blouse caught my eye. More specifically, the 25-odd gold bangles she had on her right arm caught my eye. And another dozen or more on her left arm. I mean, not just an interesting smattering of bangles in different styles to create that sort of trendy clash-and-match synergy of personal style, but a truly over the top display of dozens of gold bracelets, chains, bangles, charm bracelets, etc. So much of it that it was distracting, an ostentatious and overabundant display.

So what was she saying with all of the gold, and I did make the assumption that it was all gold. Was it just a horrible needy public plea of "Look at me!", an ugly public admission of poor self esteem and therefore the need to create attention? No, I didn't think that.

Or was it a sort of bangle-by-bangle habit that went horribly out of control. And now it's a compulsive thing, all of the bangles out of the jewelry box, and onto the wrists and arms one by one, and each evening the same compulsive ritual of putting them all back, unable to leave one out, and always looking for another to add to the rotation? Yeah, that was a lot more plausible.

I wondered if she had to do weight calculations, if she actively balanced her arms out.

Then expanding my study a bit--the table discussion still on a boring idea for a Jan/Feb speaker engagement--I noticed her red blouse. And red indeed, candy-apple red. Like new Corvette red. Red like the overdone colors in a Tarantino movie. Red like hot lipstick, forbidden lipstick. Too red for her and the venue, just a little bit too bright, too intense. Not a ruby or burgundy, romantic red, but also not a wicked hot neon, just a wicked sexy red, not a smoldering red, more appropriate for her, I thought.

And her age? Me, I guessed around 50. I thought she looked pretty good. Her shape was nice, and that over-red blouse was pretty tight as well. She knew what she was doing when she put it on, that was for sure. Pretty good presevation for her age, I'll give her that.

And then the make-up. The lipstick was surprisiingly subdued, not a match to the blouse. But her eyes had that thick Egyptian coating of jet-black mascara, above and below and all around, this thing that older women seem to be drawn into. It made her eyes look sunden, and it just absolutely killed her overall look. I could go with the bangles as a statement of eccentricity and personal style, and the same with the blouse, especially since she could physically pull it off. But the makeup just brought the whole package crashing to the ground. The eyes made her look sad, and made her look a lot older than she actually was. Too bad.

And as a post-script, being a guy, I just couldn't help but wonder what this woman would be like in the sack. Would the bangles stay on, clanging and ringing, a veritable cascade of brass and gold chiming in the rhythm of the action? That would be pretty sexy, I decided, but that's about as far as I got with my sexual musings on the older lady with the red blouse and all them bangles.