Huzzah to Madame Blair's Nude Portrait

Cherie Blair Posed Nude for Painting in Her Mid-20s
11 Dec

Cherie Blair, the wife of Prime Minister Tony Blair, posed nude for a painting when she was a trainee lawyer in her mid-20s, The Times reported. Cherie Blair, who goes by the name Cherie Booth professionally, is now a leading human rights lawyer, but for more than a year posed for Euan Uglow as he painted "Striding Nude, Blue Dress."

Well good for her. Outstanding! Absolutely wonderful! What does it say about the maturity and confidence of a young woman--any person or any gender, actually--who willingly sheds their clothing for the artistic desires of another, to have recorded for posterity the essence of who they are? I never really even thought of this woman before, and before this morning could not have given you her first name, but now my opnion of her is much, much greater. I think she's great, and would love to shake her hand and tell her so.

The painting, for which she was paid five pounds (E7.4, $9.8) an hour, depicts a woman wearing a sleeveless dress open at the front. She was required to pose still for up to an hour at a time in Uglow's south London studios. Uglow later painted a second version of the painting with a different model.

Okay, it sounds both artistic and sexy. Fine by me. And she was paid a professional fee. Again, good for her.

Would I like to see it? Sure. I like to see any artwork that has nude women in it. I enjoy it, the form, the difference coupled with the sameness. That's what makes it all interesting. And, it's downright amazing, wondrous, and beautiful.

"He wasn't pleased with the painting because it wasn't finished," said Will Darby, Uglow's close friend and dealer for 25 years. "We exhibited it in 1983 alongside the finished one but after that he just didn't want to show it . . . He was friends with the Blairs and it was his wish that it would never be shown after they entered public life," Darby told The Times.

The painting was stored at the Browse and Darby gallery in London until Uglow's death in 2000, and is now being held by the Marlborough Fine Art Trust.

So how long is it until one of the UK tabloids gets a photo of the painting and prints it? I say it's within two weeks.

According to The Times, Blair's Downing Street office declined to comment on the issue.

And why would they comment on the issue? It has nothing whatsoever to do with Tony Blair's responsibilities as the PM or the running of the British government. I mean, honestly, who the hell cares? It's private, something between the artist, who apparently is an honorable man, and the subject. Sure, I guess there are some rabid British conservos who will consider that since she has demonstrated she's confident in her body and who she is, that she is unfit to be the wife of a PM, and that somehow Blair is unfit to be a PM, now that there is some sort of physical evidence that his wife was once--and hopefully for Tony still is--a vibrant, confident and sexual woman.

It's a shame we can't say the same about any of our recent First Ladies, or even conceptualize it. Laura Bush? Puh-leeze, what with those creepy eyes and that rote, uninspired, patronizingly smiling, unflinching idiotic conservatism. Hilary? Maybe, at one time, early on when she was wife to (lying shithead) Bill, but since then the image of a rampaging political animal has supplanted that. Barbara Bush? No way, unless you're into GILFs. Farther back, to Nancy Reagan? Gawd no, as scrubbed, antiseptic skeletal images in ridiculous couture put me off my lunch. Rosalyn Carter--no. Betty Ford--glub, glub--no. Pat Nixon--no. Hell, you've got to go all the way back to Kennedy and Jackie O--over 40 years ago--to find any kind of recent First Lady who came the slightest bit close to something I'd interpret as sexy. It's a shame, and sadly indicative of where this country--and apparently England, too--is when it comes to female public figures.

"Hero" Misnomer for Dead Oregon Dad

Autopsy: Missing Man Died of Hypothermia
8 Dec

The San Francisco man who sought help for his stranded family and got lost in the snowy wilderness died of hypothermia near a fishing lodge stacked with food, authorities said. James Kim, 35, had no way of knowing about the Black Bar Lodge. His body was found in shallow water feeding Big Windy Creek, about a mile away from the lodge, where he could have found shelter, warmth and enough food for months, authorities said Thursday. "I wish Mr. Kim would have found the place," owner John James said. "It would have been a beautiful ending to a sad story."

The lodge owner's rhetoric is sufficiently syrupy, but makes no sense. His statement sits in the context of the family's rescue, but if the lost dad had found the lodge, there is no way to speak of whether or not mom and the two kids would've been found. It's imaginary, what-if conjecture, and that's all.

Searchers found the body of the 35-year-old online editor on Wednesday, two days after rescuing Kati Kim and daughters, Penelope, 4, and Sabine, 7 months, from the car they had used as shelter for more than a week in Oregon's snowy coastal mountains. A medical examiner said Thursday he could not determine exactly when James Kim died.

The Kims had driven from San Francisco to Seattle for Thanksgiving and were on their way home. They planned to spend the night of Nov. 25 at a luxury lodge outside Gold Beach on the coast. Driving south on Interstate 5, the Kims had missed the turnoff to the coast and instead drove through the Siskiyou National Forest. They passed signs warning that Bear Camp Road may be blocked by snow, but kept going. At times, James had to stick his head out the window to see through the falling snow, said state police Lt. Gregg Hastings.

Okay, mistakes upon mistakes, aggravated by stubbornnes most likely, piled up here to end in death. Yeah, it's tragic, but then again, driving on a back-country road in the mountains in the snow, with no other traffic around is a pretty stupid proposition, especially if it's your wife and kids on the line. You miss the interstate turn, keep going until you get to an exit where you can go back, or ask solid directions of the locals to get to your destination. You pass warning signs about snow on the road you're on, and it's snowing, then you turn around and go back. Yeah, it's sad to miss the night at the resort, but it's better to wake up in a less-than-glamorous motor lodge off the interstate than wake up in a snowed-in car a dozen miles from any civilization, with no food. And lastly, if you've got to stick your head out the window to see where you're going, it's time to get the hell off the road, whether you're driving in the Oregon coastal range of downtown Portland. I mean, seriously.

They descended into a confusing warren of logging roads.

Logging roads aren't paved. Why in the hell would you turn onto an unpaved road if you're in a snowstorm and lost? That's just asking for trouble.

By the time they turned around, they were 15 miles off Bear Camp Road and stopped where they hoped to be spotted from the air, fearing they were running out of gas, searchers said.

It's way too late by this time, but up to now this is the smartest thing they did.

Kati Kim told investigators they stopped at 2 a.m. Nov. 26, but could get no cell phone service. They stayed in the car as it snowed and rained for three days. They had only baby food, jelly and bottled water, Hastings said. When the bottled water ran out, they melted snow. When the food ran out, Kati Kim nursed the children.

So light a fire. There's going to be deadfall wood in the forest, so get it and light a fire. And make it big, the bigger the better. Mom and Dad work in shifts to keep it going, never letting it go out. Infrared searches will spot it immediately, and the smoke will be the other way to get spotted. Earlier news accounts talked of them burning tires, so they had at least one fire going. You just stay in place and keep the fire going. Every entry-level Scout is taught that if you're lost you don't move. You stay put and let the searchers find you.

On the eighth day, James Kim decided to look for help. His wife told investigators he thought he was just four miles down the Rogue River from the community of Galice. It was closer to 15. But he felt he could follow the river to find help.

"James Kim did nothing wrong," Hastings said. "He was trying to save his family."

Yes, he was trying to save his family, but his mistake was in leaving. He had no idea where he was, and he set out. That was wrong, and it cost him.

Kim had walked five miles up a road, then five more miles down rugged Big Windy Creek. Despite his long hike, he was only a mile from the car, which was near the road to the lodge.

Typical. Without any kind of references or a map, he was going in a circle. Why get off the road and into the brush? It may be longer, but the chances of finding something, or being found, are much better on the road than they are in the forest. Another bad decision.

On Thursday, the Kim house, with its cheery, red garage door and window sills, perched up a small hill, stood dark and empty in San Francisco's Noe Valley neighborhood. A few blocks away, a sign outside Church Street Apothecary, one of the Kims' two boutiques, read: "We will be closed for a few days. Please respect our privacy." Below the sign, scores of flowers, cards and candles conveyed warm wishes from neighbors.

"Your dad is a hero. Your dad is a great, kind man. He will always love you very much," said a handmade card written in a child's scrawl, signed by "Malia."

No, sorry, he was not a hero. The CNet spokesman offered up the same overused and grossly inaccurate tag of hero yesterday. He was brave, yes. He and his wife made a very difficult choice, fully cognizant of the possible outcome, yes. He tried to do the right thing, yes. But he was not a hero; he was a victim. Just because someone dies trying to do something does not make them a hero. His actions had nothing whatsoever to do with his family's rescue, the rescue that would have been his as well if he'd just stayed with the car and the family. He set out alone and died alone, without achieving his goal and without in any way contributing to this bittersweet outcome.

He became a victim of his accumulated mistakes and likely overriding desire to get to the resort hotel. He became a victim of giving in to striking out rather than just waiting. He became a victim of the poor choice to go through the forest rather than stay on the road. In none of these things was he a hero, just tragic victim of amplified and accumulated simple mistakes.

The Contrite and Humbled Kramer

Richards and Offended Club Guests to Meet
1 Dec

Michael "Kramer" Richards will apologize in person to the four black men he targeted in a tirade of racial slurs during a recent comedy club performance. A retired judge will mediate the meeting and determine whether he should take any other action to resolve the matter, Richards' spokesman and an attorney for the men said Friday.

A cash settlement could be part of the resolution, said Howard J. Rubenstein, who represents Richards. "My client Michael hopes to put it behind him," Rubenstein said.

Yeah, Kramer, it's kind of a career-killer to be viewed worldwide as a raging bigot, especially for something as relatively minor and harmless as being heckled at a comedy club.

A time and place for the meeting has not been set. Rubenstein complimented attorney Gloria Allred, who is representing the four comedy club patrons, for recommending the meeting.

Of course he did, since she is in complete control of the issue, and has been since the beginning. She's an opportunisitic legal remora, sure, and she'll make out very nicely in this instance, sure again, but she's not stupid.

Allred said Richards should meet with her clients "to hear the pain that he inflicted on them and to apologize to them." She and the four men were scheduled to hold a press conference later Friday.

Richards, who played the wacky neighbor Kramer on "Seinfeld," has been on a campaign of contrition since videotaped footage of his 17 Nov outburst at the Laugh Factory nightclub surfaced on the Web site TMZ.com. He has apologized on the Rev. Jesse Jackson's nationally syndicated radio program "Keep Hope Alive" and the "Late Show with David Letterman." He also apologized to civil rights leader the Rev. Al Sharpton.

So Kramer actually apologized TO Al Sharpton? Why to Al Sharpton? Sure, Kramer slung all kinds of racial-bigot vocabulary, and that does include Al Sharpton, but Kramer's got an awful long row to hoe if he's going to apologize to everyone who's black. I know Al wants to think he represents all of Black Amercia--in his ongoing death struggle with Jesse--but I would think an honorable Sharpton also would politely decline a personal apology to him from Kramer, and urge Kramer to keep it broadly focused to all blacks, and also more specifically focused upon the direct victims of the comedy club tirade. That's what is most appropriate in this case. But then again, this kind of propriety would take attention away from himself (Sharpton), which no self-respecting politician--or grandstanding Christian preacher--can really do.

Richards has said the tirade was fueled by anger at being heckled and not bigotry.

Yeah, right. I'm surprised Kramer hasn't entered rehab as an alcoholic or other substance abuser. I'm surprised he hasn't announced that he's been bipolar since he was 12, or that he was abused by a Greek Orthodox priest when he was a teen. To that end I'll give Kramer just a little bit of credit for kind-of standing up and taking the blame.

I've written this a lot in the last few weeks, and now I add Kramer to the list. Just like Borat's dumbass frat boys, Mel Gibson's anti-Jew tirade, and Michael Vick's finger-flipping crowd response on Sunday, this is who and what you are, Kramer. Sorry, Kramer, but all of that racial enmity didn't just come to you right then and there on stage because you were being heckled by guys who just happened to be black. I've seen the video, and the language came quickly and apparently easy, more than enough indication to me that it's been down in there, inside you for much longer than the 20 seconds or five minutes of gestation that would have come from a heckling. Nope, just like Mel's previously hidden anti-Semitism, your true nature and thoughts have come through. Your words and actions are who you are. It's true of all of you, as much as you so, so humbly attempt to tell us that it's not really the way you are. You thought it, and you put it into words and actions. It IS who you are.

Sure, it's okay to be pissed off at being heckled, and I can agree completely with going on a profanity-laden rant against the insults of drunken (who knows if these Kramer targets were drunk) hecklers, using all kinds of generic, non-racial, non-slur names and put-downs to put them right back in their dumbass place. Calling them loud dumbasses or jerks or pussies or cocksuckers, or cum-sucking maggot-fuckers, now there's really nohting wrong--apart from the profanity--of that kind of comeback. In fact, a comedy club crowd, hardly representative of the Moral Majority, might just find that kind of raw, vulgar response funny (given the success of truly awesomely vulgar "The Aristocrats"), which returns control of the crowd and the show as a whole to the performer, and takes the wind out of a heckler's sails, putting their cowed and embarrassed asses right back in their seats, where they belong.

I mean, c'mon, Kramer. If I'm on a comedy club stage, one of the first things I'd need would be some killer heckler comebacks, and if you weren't prepared for this, Kramer, then it's your own damn fault. Also, if your material isn't any good, then expect to be heckled, and have your comebacks lined up and ready to go. Then you're doubly protected. But I get no sense that you did this, Kramer. You let them get to you, and now you're really stuck.