an aperiodic record of 40-something suburban mundanity

Friday, April 28, 2006

Declining CSI

Watched it last night, as just about every Thursday night. I watch because the wife digs the show, and I read the paper in my comfy recliner. CIS is okay, but to my mind not that great. It's certainly better than 99% of the rest of the mindless crap that's called television programming. I like CSI because, compared to the scum-sucking, soul-stealing drivel of "Wife-Swapping" and "Extreme Makeover" and "American Idle" and "Deal or No Deal" and (Your Favorite Show here), this show is a raging juggernaut of ringing intellectualism. They use science, logic, process, and teamwork to rapidly solve complex and intriguing problems, and that's the single best part of the show. William Peterson is a poetry-quoting brainiac, and a good leader and manager, too. The women are attractive and interesting individuals, not breast-augmented female icons who pretend at acting their parts.

But last night's show was full of the kind of declining quality that usually comes with a popular show. A good TV show starts to gain steam, and to expand that market the network suits dumb it down, and down, and right on down until you're watching "King of Queens" or some other popular vomit. Part of the appeal of a good show in the first place is that it's real and plausible, therefore different, and as the dumbing-down goes on, that appeal just bleeds away.

Last night's episode, for those of you who haven't seen it, was about the killing of a prominent female attorney. She was a vicious harpy, yeah, (although I thought she was pretty hot for an older babe) and I think the character got what she deserved. But that's not germane to this discussion.

Most of the show went well, with the investigation proceeding quickly and logically; I've got no problem with that aspect. But by the time the big breaks started to come, we were left with precious little programming time to actually wrap up the case. So we got a montage of all of the bridesmaids and other involved conspirators just spilling their collective, over-made-up and cocky guts to the investigators. Every single goddamn one of them. I mean, doesn't the Las Vegas PD Mirandize those whom they arrest? Or even if these folks weren't arrested, if they had been called to the station for questioning, since they're all very well off, why isn't they're not bright enough to demand their right to legal counsel? I mean, they were bright enough to pull off a rather elaborate and almost completely successful killing and cover-up on the fly, but none of them are smart enough to refuse to answer any police question without benefit of legal counsel?

The best man was the first shitty shining example. With a previous conviction for GTA, and assuming some jail time for that crime, you'd think he'd know better, but instead we get this overly dramatic, typical dumbass Hollywood cockiness and speech about how sexy it is to steal a car. Okay, a felon with a record just sits there and cops to the crime, GTA plus accessory after the fact to at the very least manslaughter and at the worst second degree murder? That's just crap, totally implausible crap. And he didn't even try to turn it to his advantage, to give up the killers to save his own ass, which after all, given the stupid speech he had to make, would have been exactly in-character for him.

And then all of the bridesmaids just copped to their respective roles in the crime, one, two, three. No lawyers present, no invocation of the Fifth Amendment, none of them wisely choosing to remain absolutely silent. None of them turning on the other, which again, given the (thin) character development we'd seen earlier, also would have been in-character. In the final two minutes of the show, they just all spill their guts and tie up everything neat and tidy so we can roll credits and get to the commercials. And the network thinks no one is noticing.

So, CSI, I ask you to return to the basics. It's good stuff what you're doing, and is still pretty good, but your quality standards are declining, and I can tell. It won't be long before others can tell, too. It's up to you: quality programming, which brought you the success you're enjoying now, or network-driven market increase, which will turn your quality show into a ridiculous "E.R." clone by next season.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

Flat Squirrel

It happened on the parkway this morning, headed into town and yesterday's leftover edits. I saw the squirrel dart toward the edge of the concrete on the oncoming side, its tail whipping in excitement, arousal, anticipation, whatever the hell that manic bushy tail movement communicates. An SUV passed, and he took off, across the two lanes in no time flat. He was safe in the tall grass in the median. Now woud he wait? He was still a good 150 yards in front of me, and I was right at 50 mph. There were plenty of cars in the two lanes of my traffic, three in the left lane and four in front of me in the right lane.

And off he went. I saw quick brake lights in a left-lane SUV, then a flash of gray. I said out loud, "He won't make it," and he darted right under the wheels of a big sedan three cars in front of me. No brake lights at all. No bump or unusual movement from the car. No sounds. It shot on out to the right, into a turn lane, and I thought to myself how I didn't want to see that horrible frantic death wriggle, that insane animal bicycling of the dying legs in the air, the horrific instinctive twisting of the body to get up and move, and the certainty of the incredible pain coursing through the little critter. I'd seen it before with a goose hit on a highway, a small blizzard of white and gray feathers right in front of me, and those horrible whirling black webbed feet flailing as I went on by, a smashed body and wings at horrible angles, absolutely nothing I could do.

And I was relieved, surprised at myself how I was transfixed, that there was no movement at all. No blood, just a still little furry corpse in the turn lane, which would be smashed-flat carrion in just another hour or two. Sad, sure, but then again, it was just a squirrel, there was nothing I could do, and I hadn't been the one to hit it.

And this was the start to the day, a very stark reminder of the whipcrack finality of life and especially death, how if you don't pay attention or if you act recklessly it'll all be over before you can even utter a startled gasp. Squirrels aren't people, no, but they die just as easily and just as quickly, and when it's done, there's no going back at all.

I made sure to hug my kids really well when I got home, and told them more than the usual amount of times over dinner and at bedtime how proud of them I am, and how much I love them.

Friday, April 21, 2006

Spyro Gyra and Scott Ambush

Saw Spyro Gyra at a local establishment the other night. It was an okay show, but I've got to admit that I've been to a number of previous shows of theirs that got my attention a lot more than this one did. Now, let's be clear, this was not a bad show, not by a long shot, and never has Spyro Gyra disappointed me. Never have I wanted my money back or walked away saying that taking the time and spending the money to see them play was a waste. Not even close. But what I did really want to see and hear, what I love the most about them, is the big-band tour, the fat, boss-band sound, with six or seven members, and that unmistakable, full, studio sound that radiates from the stage and the speakers as they all cut loose together.

Last night's lineup was just five, with Beckenstein, Schuman, and now more or less fully inducted and accepted SG member Julio Fernandez on guitar and Scott Ambush on bass. And Alfonso Ludwig--or was it Ludwig Alfonso?--was on the drum kit. I missed Dave Samuels on the vibes and marimba, that depth of genuine sound from those percussive musical instruments. We had that sound, but it was electronic, coming from Schuman's keyboard. Same thing with backup horn accompaniment. It was okay, just not that full, rich sound.

Fernandez got his over-indulgent solo right after the opening number, this overdone, rambling thing that started all syrupy and Latin, and morphed into agood 15 minutes of jam. By the time it warmed up, it was an okay tune, but it just wouldn't go anywhere. Ludwig/Alfonson got his big, long drum solo, and my wife took off for the bathroom. She went, did her bid'ness, and came back, and this guy was still tapping on the cymbals, thumping on the bass drum, all of that ridiculous noise that some folks just absolutely love in a drum solo. It's never done a thing for me, not once.

And right near the end we finally got the showcase of sweet, rocking Scott Ambush. I mean, goddamn, super-bitchen, thrumming Scott Ambush. Man, is it a treat for the ears and for the eyes, and when he's really rocking and the board is turned up loud for your quivering internal organs, to attend a show where he gets to work out and lay down. There are some seriously serious electric bass guitar players out there, and I've been a big fan of Stanley Clarke since forever, along with Jaco Pastorius, Chris Squire, Will Lee, Steve Rodby, and BB King's iconic bass player, Michael Whateverthehell, but I do love to listen to Scott Ambush play. It's not just popping and rumbling, the guy does the harmonics, the chords, and can make that thing sing, almost like it wasn't a bass. He's got a beautiful 5-string he plays, and he was working out all over the place. He got about ten minutes all to his own, with and without the band, and it was fantastic. If you ever get a chance to read this Scott, or if you're someone who knows him, send this along: keep up the good work; I love what you're doing.

And if you're a bass player in need of a new axe, check out Scott's own custom bass business at .

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Robert Penn Warren on God

I’m finally getting around to reading classics I should have read twenty years ago. And the current classic is All The King’s Men. At first I didn’t enjoy it, but I’m most definitely enjoying the story now. I’ll be done with it in another day or so. I recommend it to anyone who likes well-crafted artistic fiction. His word choice clearly reflects his poetic side, with some really brilliant word choices and phrasing. I find many times I'm reminded of reading Nabokov.

And imagine my surprise in the middle of this outstanding, Pulitzer Prize-winning work when Robert Penn Warren through Jack Burden muses on the nature of the divine and all-powerful. Here are the relevant excerpts:

". . . God-Almighty, Who knows how it is going to come out. Who knew, in fact, how it was going to come out even before He knew there was going to be any History. Which is complete nonsense, for that involves Time and He is out of Time, for God is Fullness of Being and in Him the End is the Beginning . . . I thought God cannot be Fullness of Being. For Life is Motion."

I like this logic here, very straightforward and simple. God is everywhere, everytime, always and never, forever and ever. How bored must be God be if he knows everything that is going to happen? Of course, Frank Herbert explored that curse of omnipotence in the Dune series, and I would have to agree that it would be a horrible, horrible curse to be omnipresent and out of time; there would be no surprise, no hesitation, no anticipation, and consequently no hope, and therefore no real reason to enjoy life whatsoever. The only possible conclusion is that total knowledge, unconstrained by time, is antithetical to life.

The logic continues almost exactly as I've described, " . . . (For Life is Motion toward Knowledge. If God is Complete Knowledge then He is Complete Non-Motion, which is Non-Life, which is Death. Therefore, if there is such a God of Fullness of Being, we would worship Death, the Father . . ."

Now, 'life is motion toward knowledge,' that has a very Hinduistic, Buddhist ring to it. Life is not a thing, it is a path, it is a process from some thing to another thing. I’m not too sure that this is what life actually is, as this is something that occurs in life in order to justify its importance. Life isn’t really anything but what it is, and that is random and erratic, capricious and split-second deadly and final. Life is whatever happens. It could be wealth and success and a giddy delirium of all dreams realized, all hopes met, freedom from fear. Or it could be horrific torture, rape, and death at age 7 at the hands of your favorite, most trusted uncle. Life is whatever happens, and no one is fully capable of making a solid determination of what will happen. Some are lucky, and some are not.

". . . (For Life is a fire burning along a piece of string--or is it a fuse to a powder keg which we call God?--and the string is what we don’t know, our Ignorance, and the trails of ash, which, if a gust of wind does not come, keeps the structure of the string, is History, man’s Knowledge, but it is dead, and when the fire has burned up all the string, then man’s Knowledge will be equal to God’s Knowledge and there won’t be any fire, which is Life. Or if the string leads to a powder key, then there will be a terrific blast of fire, and even the trails of ash will be blown completely away."

I do like the analogy of life as fire. The imagery is wonderful, as is the pure fragility of fire. It can be all-consuming, immensely powerful and intense, huge and seemingly unstoppable, yet can be snuffed out immediately and permanently, if one knows how to do it. Or if the universe/environment does it.

". . . I’ll draw you (a) picture. It is a picture of man trying to paint a picture of a sunset. But before he can dip his brush the color always changes and the shape. Let us give a name to the picture which he is trying to paint: Knowledge. Therefore if the object which a man looks at changes constantly so that Knowledge of it is constantly untrue and is therefore Non-Knowledge, then Eternal Motion is possible. And eternal Life. Therefore we can believe in Eternal Life only if we deny God, Who is Complete Knowledge."

I’ve got to admit he’s lost me here. I can’t make the connection from the inability to grasp current knowledge to how non-knowledge is eternal motion. Maybe eternal motion is the quest for knowledge, which I’d have to agree with, and as long as there is life then that motion is occurring. But how is it that eternal motion requires denying the existence of God? He’s onto something here, but the communication of it didn’t quite get through to me.

That’s all I’ve got to add. I offer it here as yet another interpretation, another approach, another possible answer from another man who is seeking to see, define, describe, and discover God. Is The Big Man really out there? And if so, what’s he doing with his time? And why can’t he make time for me, the cripples, or the other victims? Is there really any point at all in even thinking about this to begin with?

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Do All Dogs Go To Heaven?



Hell no, of course not. Not all of them. Sure, my old retriever's up there, and the current one will be there too. But that non-bladder-controlled, psychotic black cocker spaniel we had when I was in high school, no way that nutso sonofabitch is up there. And my former neighbor's goddamn brown Chow that attacked my dog and then attacked me when I pulled my own dog off it so my retriever wouldn't rip its other ear off, there's no way that worthless piece of frizzy, overbred shit would be in heaven.

But what about the Taco Bell chihuahua? Or Lassie? I mean, damn, Lassie's got to be up there, right? She did so much good, saving Timmy from the burning barn/house/office/forest/railway shack so many times. Rin Tin Tin has got to be up there, too, and all of those mountain dogs that found and saved avalanche victims. And rescue dogs and service dogs, they've got to be up there.

But the two brutes that killed that lady in the apartment hallway in San Francisco a few years back? No way. All of the dogs that have attacked people, mauled children and the elderly, how could they be up in heaven? That just wouldn't be right.

Well, one would argue vicious dogs are simply being what they are, domesticated cousins of the wolf, and that every now and then that wolf blood comes back real powerful like, and it's time to be true to the canine canon, not paw and sniff and roll over and show your belly to get another lousy Milk Bone. So, if the "bad" dogs are just being themselves, what--ahem--Gawd made them to be, why can't they get into heaven? Or the dogs that bite because they are trained to, because their cruel owners have raised them to be fighters, to be mean? It's not their fault they are the way they are, so why can't they get after-worldly puppy absolution? And who decides this? God is all-powerful, after all, but I expect he might be a bit busy to administer to dogs as well. Maybe that's delegated a little further down in the heavenly line-and-block chart.

Or is heaven just for humans? Is it a human-exclusive environment? Me, I'd love to have my dogs up there with me, as they were very often the absolute best companions I ever had, with that perfect unconditional love, always so happy to see, always ready to play and snuggle and give up that undivided attention. Yeah, I'd like God to allow pets in heaven. But do I get a say in that? Is Heaven heavily covenanted? Do I have to sign the community standards agreement before I come in?

But would dogs in heaven be pets? Or would they be equals? Well, of course not, there's no way they could be equals, being not humans, after all. But can I/do I get to communicate with them other than the standard syrupy, "Good boy! What's that you got, good dog?" etc.? Can we talk to one another? Is that something we'd really want? I don't think I'd like my dog laying on the guilt trip for leaving her outside at home--fully fed and watered, mind you--while I took a three-day trip with the family. Or what about that time the kids accidentally hit you with the bat because you were too excited to get out of the way? Or complaining about your food? Are you still mad about that? And what in the holy hell would the dog say to the guy I knew in high school who masturbated as he had his puppy rim out his stinky ass (and why, I still wonder, would this guy actually tell me this!?)? I mean, that would be a very, very interesting conversation, albeit a bit awkward, especially for heaven.

If Poochy was injured, would she be all better in Heaven? Will that gimpy leg be all fixed up? Will the hind legs amputated after that unfortunate garbage truck incident be back and in full working order? Will the hip displasia be fixed? Will that wicked-rancid dogbreath from hell be sweet and minty-fresh? I'd think that would be the case; this is heaven, after all.

In the end, who gets to decide? Do I allow my pet to join me, or does God or the Celestial Keeper of the Afterlife Velvet Rope, with his golden clipboard and divine headset make a determination? Whose spirtual palm do I have to grease? And if I bring Poochy up to heaven with me, is it permanent, or do I get to send him away if I get bored? Playing fetch the ball for eterninty, after all, is a prospect that seems somewhat repetitive. And what if I need to take some time off, go to the Heavenly Riviera for a week or two--where does Poochy go? Is there a celestial kennel, or is Poochy good to go all by himself up there in heaven, wandering about and just letting it happen? Does he need someone to look after him? And will Heaven Animal Control come and pick him up? And if I don't claim him, will they euthanize him? Then where does he go?

Or do I get to wish it all into being? After all, it's me that's in heaven. And if I met the stringent, God-proclaimed screening criteria, then it's my heaven, right? If I'm up there, it's my own private paradise, full self-realization, self-actualization, completely unemcumbered by the bonds of mortality or physical being, right? If I want Poochy, all I have to do is think it, and it will be my heavenly reality, right? If it makes me happy, as my eternal reward for being a Good Boy down on Earth, isn't that what I get? Or does God or Divine Animal Control allow me only so much visiting time? Or are dogs even allowed in heaven? I wouldn't think there would be a going-to-the-potty problem, as that kind of excretus just wouldn't exist up in heaven. No more slings and arrows, no more mortal coil, no more pains the flesh is heir to, and no more doody either. And if God don't like dogs, then how can I be truly happy, which, if I understand the concept correctly, is kind of the point of Heaven.

Or is it that a want or need, however strong it may be, for reuniting with one's beloved pet, just isn't the kind of activity that one should be indulging in up there in Heaven? It's more singing praises, going through the initiation rituals to get wings, kissing God's feet and all of that, is it? Is there a higher purpose than petting a beloved dog?

Once again, just asking a few simple questions and pondering possible answers according to some very basic logic and flow, and accounting for the endless pronunciations of folks who are absolutely freeking sure about this stuff, and I am more in doubt and confused now than I was before I started this little exercise. I am no closer to any understanding of any of it, which of course calls into question the alleged vailidity of the claims of heaven in the first place.

I close by asking once again: God, if you're up there, I've got a lot of questions, big and small. I'd like to know what the real deal is. Please pay me a visit and let's talk about this stuff.

I'm not holding my breath.

Getting Out Alive

The following article is long, and about a year old now, but the lessons in it are just as valuable today. If the folks on that tourist dinner cruise last week had read this, they might still be around. I think this is a brilliant piece of work, absolutely first-rate. And in this age of terrorism, the information presented here is spot-on timely and useful, but only if you read it, think about it, and put into practice its recommendations.

No one can predict an instananeous disaster, so what's the best way to prepare oneself for that eventuality? Simple: think a bit about what you'd do if the unthinkable happened. Find the exits in the theater. Sit with your back to the wall and facing the door of the restaurant. There are a million little ways you can prepare yourself mentally to save yourself in an instant. But it'll only work if you're ready to do it.

(Photos are not original to the article.)

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How to Get Out Alive
From hurricanes to 9/11: What the science of evacuation reveals about how humans behave in the worst of times
By AMANDA RIPLEY

May 2, 2005

When the plane hit Elia Zedeno's building on 9/11, the effect was not subtle. From the 73rd floor of Tower 1, she heard a booming explosion and felt the building actually lurch to the south, as if it might topple. It had never done that before, even in 1993 when a bomb exploded in the basement, trapping her in an elevator. This time, Zedeño grabbed her desk and held on, lifting her feet off the floor. Then she shouted, "What's happening?" You might expect that her next instinct was to flee. But she had the opposite reaction. "What I really wanted was for someone to scream back, 'Everything is O.K.! Don't worry. It's in your head.'"

She didn't know it at the time, but all around her, others were filled with the same reflexive incredulity. And the reaction was not unique to 9/11. Whether they're in shipwrecks, hurricanes, plane crashes or burning buildings, people in peril experience remarkably similar stages. And the first one--even in the face of clear and urgent danger--is almost always a period of intense disbelief.

Luckily, at least one of Zedeño's colleagues responded differently. "The answer I got was another co-worker screaming, 'Get out of the building!'" she remembers now. Almost four years later, she still thinks about that command. "My question is, What would I have done if the person had said nothing?"

Most of the people who died on 9/11 had no choice. They were above the impact zone of the planes and could not find a way out. But investigators are only now beginning to understand the actions and psychology of the thousands who had a chance to escape. The people who made it out of the World Trade Center, for example, waited an average of 6 min. before heading downstairs, according to a new National Institute of Standards and Technology (NIST) study drawn from interviews with nearly 900 survivors. But the range was enormous. Why did certain people leave immediately while others lingered for as long as half an hour? Some were helping co-workers. Others were disabled. And in Tower 2, many were following fatally flawed directions to stay put. But eventually everyone saw smoke, smelled jet fuel or heard someone giving the order to leave. Many called relatives. About 1,000 took the time to shut down their computers, according to NIST.

In other skyscraper fires, staying inside might have been exactly the right thing to do. In the case of the Twin Towers, at least 135 people who theoretically had access to open stairwells--and enough time to use them--never made it out, the report found.Since the early days of the atom bomb, scientists have been trying to understand how to move masses of people out of danger. Engineers have fashioned glowing exit signs, sprinklers and less flammable materials. Elaborate computer models can simulate the emptying of Miami or the Sears Tower, showing thousands of colored dots streaming for safety like a giant Ms. Pac-Man colony. But the most vexing problem endures. And it is not signage or architecture or traffic flow. It's us. Large groups of people facing death act in surprising ways. Most of us become incredibly docile. We are kinder to one another than normal. We panic only under certain rare conditions. Usually, we form groups and move slowly, as if sleepwalking in a nightmare.

Zedeño still did not immediately flee on 9/11, even after her colleague screamed at her. First she reached for her purse, and then she started walking in circles. "I was looking for something to take with me. I remember I took my book. Then I kept looking around for other stuff to take. It was like I was in a trance," she says, smiling at her behavior. When she finally left, her progress remained slow. The estimated 15,410 who got out, the NIST findings show, took about a minute to make it down each floor--twice as long as the standard engineering codes predicted. It took Zedeño more than an hour to descend. "I never found myself in a hurry," she says. "It's weird because the sound, the way the building shook, should have kept me going fast. But it was almost as if I put the sound away in my mind."

Had the planes hit later in the day, when the buildings typically held more than 32,000 additional people, a full evacuation at that pace would have taken more than four hours, according to the NIST study. More than 14,000 probably would have perished, Zedeño among them.

In a crisis, our instincts can be our undoing. William Morgan, who directs the exercise-psychology lab at the University of Wisconsin at Madison, has studied mysterious scuba accidents in which divers drowned with plenty of air in their tanks. It turns out that certain people experience an intense feeling of suffocation when their mouths are covered. They respond to that overwhelming sensation by relying on their instinct, which is to rip out whatever is in their mouths. For scuba divers, unfortunately, it is their oxygen source. On land, that would be a perfect solution.

Why do our instincts sometimes backfire so dramatically? Research on how the mind processes information suggests that part of the problem is a lack of data. Even when we're calm, our brains require 8 to 10 sec. to handle each novel piece of complex information. The more stress, the slower the process. Bombarded with new information, our brains shift into low gear just when we need to move fast. We diligently hunt for a shortcut to solve the problem more quickly. If there aren't any familiar behaviors available for the given situation, the mind seizes upon the first fix in its library of habits--if you can't breathe, remove the object in your mouth.

That neurological process might explain, in part, the urge to stay put in crises. "Most people go their entire lives without a disaster," says Michael Lindell, a professor at the Hazard Reduction & Recovery Center at Texas A&M University. "So, the most reasonable reaction when something bad happens is to say, This can't possibly be happening to me." Lindell sees the same tendency, which disaster researchers call normalcy bias, when entire populations are asked to evacuate.

When people are told to leave in anticipation of a hurricane or flood, most of them check with four or more sources--family, newscasters and officials, among others--before deciding what to do, according to a 2001 study by sociologist Thomas Drabek. That process of checking in, known to experts as milling, is common in disasters. On 9/11 at least 70% of survivors spoke with other people before trying to leave, the NIST study shows. (In that regard, if you work or live with a lot of women, your chances of survival may increase, since women are quicker to evacuate than men are.)

People caught up in disasters tend to fall into three categories. About 10% to 15% remain calm and act quickly and efficiently. Another 15% or less completely freak out--weeping, screaming or otherwise hindering the evacuation. That kind of hysteria is usually isolated and quickly snuffed out by the crowd. The vast majority of people do very little. They are "stunned and bewildered," as British psychologist John Leach put it in a 2004 article published in Aviation, Space, and Environmental Medicine.

So what determines which category you fall into? You might expect decisive people to be assertive and flaky people to come undone. But when nothing is normal, the rules of everyday life do not apply. No one knows more about human behavior in disasters than researchers in the aviation industry. Because they have to comply with so many regulations, they run thousands of people through experiments and interview scores of crash survivors. Of course, a burning plane is not the same as a flaming skyscraper or a sinking ship. But some behaviors in all three environments turn out to be remarkably similar.

On March 27, 1977, a Pan Am 747 awaiting takeoff at the Tenerife airport in the Canary Islands off Spain was sliced open without warning by a Dutch KLM jet that had come hurtling out of the fog at 160 m.p.h. The collision left twisted metal, along with comic books and toothbrushes, strewn along a half-mile stretch of tarmac. Everyone on the KLM jet was killed instantly. But it looked as if many of the Pan Am passengers had survived and would have lived if they had got up and walked off the fiery plane.

Floy Heck, then 70, was sitting on the Pan Am jet between her husband and her friends, en route from their California retirement residence to a Mediterranean cruise. After the KLM jet sheared off the top of their plane, Heck could not speak or move. "My mind was almost blank. I didn't even hear what was going on," she told an Orange County Register reporter years later. But her husband Paul Heck, 65, reacted immediately. He ordered his wife to get off the plane. She followed him through the smoke "like a zombie," she said. Just before they jumped out of a hole in the left side of the craft, she looked back at her friend Lorraine Larson, who was just sitting there, looking straight ahead, her mouth slightly open, hands folded in her lap. Like dozens of others, she would die not from the collision but from the fire that came afterward.

We tend to assume that plane crashes--and most other catastrophes--are binary: you live or you die, and you have very little choice in the matter. But in all serious U.S. plane accidents from 1983 to 2000, just over half the passengers lived, according to the National Transportation Safety Board. And some survived because of their individual traits or behavior--human factors, as crash investigators put it. After the Tenerife catastrophe, aviation experts focused on those factors--and people like the Hecks--and decided that they were just as important as the design of the plane itself.

Unlike tall buildings, planes are meant to be emptied fast. Passengers are supposed to be able to get out within 90 sec., even if only half the exits are available and bags are strewn in the aisles. As it turns out, the people on the Pan Am 747 had at least 60 sec. to flee before fire engulfed the plane. But of the 396 people on board, 326 were killed. Including the KLM victims, 583 people ultimately died--making the Tenerife crash the deadliest accident in civil aviation history.

What happened? Aren't disasters supposed to turn us into animals, driven by instinct and surging with adrenaline?

In the 1970s, psychologist Daniel Johnson was working on safety research for McDonnell Douglas. The more disasters he studied, the more he realized that the classic fight-or-flight behavior paradigm was incomplete. Again and again, in shipwrecks as well as plane accidents, he saw examples of people doing nothing at all. He was even able to re-create the effect in his lab. He found that about 45% of people in his experiment shut down (that is, stopped moving or speaking for 30 sec. or often longer) when asked under pressure to perform unfamiliar but basic tasks. "They quit functioning. They just sat there," Johnson remembers. It seemed horribly maladaptive. How could so many people be hard-wired to do nothing in a crisis?

But it turns out that that freezing behavior may be quite adaptive in certain scenarios. An animal that goes into involuntary paralysis may have a better chance of surviving a predatory attack. Many predators will not eat prey that is not struggling; that way, they are less likely to eat something sick or rotten that would end up killing them. Psychologist Gordon Gallup Jr. has found similar behavior among human rape victims. "They report being vividly aware of what was happening but unable to respond," he says.

In a fire or on a sinking ship, however, such a strategy can be fatal. So is it possible to override this instinct--or prevent it from kicking in altogether?

In the hours just before the Tenerife crash, Paul Heck did something highly unusual. While waiting for takeoff, he studied the 747's safety diagram. He looked for the closest exit, and he pointed it out to his wife. He had been in a theater fire as a boy, and ever since, he always checked for the exits in an unfamiliar environment. When the planes collided, Heck's brain had the data it needed. He could work on automatic, whereas other people's brains plodded through the storm of new information. "Humans behave much more appropriately when they know what to expect--as do rats," says Cynthia Corbett, a human-factors specialist with the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA).

To better understand how the mind responds to a novel situation like a plane crash, I visited the FAA's training academy in Oklahoma City, Okla. In a field behind one of their labs, they had hoisted a jet section on risers. I boarded the mock-up plane along with 30 flight-attendant supervisors. Inside, it looked just like a normal plane, and the flight attendants made jokes, pretending to be passengers. "Could I get a cocktail over here, please? I paid a lot of money for this seat!"

But once some (nontoxic) smoke started pouring into the cabin, everyone got quiet. As most people do, I underestimated how quickly the smoke would fill the space, from ceiling to floor, like a black curtain unfurling in front of us. In 20 sec., all we could see were the pin lights along the floor. As we stood to evacuate, there was a loud thump. In a crowd of experienced flight attendants, still someone had hit his or her head on an overhead bin. In a new situation, with a minor amount of stress, our brains were performing clumsily. As we filed toward the exit slide, crouched low, holding on to the person in front of us, several of the flight attendants had to be comforted by their colleagues.

Remember: those were trained professionals who had jumped down a slide at some point to become certified. I could imagine how much worse things might go in a real emergency with regular passengers and screaming children. As we emerged into the light, the mood brightened. The flight attendants cheered as their colleagues slid, one by one, to the ground.

Mac McLean has been studying plane evacuations for 16 years at the FAA's Civil Aerospace Medical Institute. He starts all his presentations with a slide that reads IT'S THE PEOPLE. He is convinced that if passengers had a mental plan for getting out of a plane, they would move much more quickly in a crisis. But, like others who study disaster behavior, he is perpetually frustrated that not more is done to encourage self-reliance. "The airlines and the flight attendants underestimate the fact that passengers can be good survivors. They think passengers are goats," he says. Better, more detailed safety briefings could save lives, McLean believes, but airline representatives have repeatedly told him they don't want to scare passengers.

And so most passengers are indeed goats. Should the worst occur, says McLean, "people don't have a clue. They want you to come by and say, O.K., hon, it's time to go. Plane's on fire."

If we know that training--or even mental rehearsal--vastly improves people's responses to disasters, it is surprising how little of it we do. Even in the World Trade Center, which had complicated escape routes and had been attacked once before, preparation levels were abysmal, we now know. Fewer than half the survivors had ever entered the stairwells before, according to the NIST report. Thousands of people hadn't known they had to wind through confusing transfer hallways to get down.

Early findings from another study, sponsored by the Centers for Disease Control, found that only 45% of 445 Trade Center workers interviewed had known the buildings had three stairwells. Only half had known the doors to the roof would be locked. "I found the lack of preparedness shocking," says lead investigator Robyn Gershon, an associate professor of sociomedical sciences at Columbia University who shared the findings with TIME.

Until last year, it was illegal to require anyone in a New York City high rise to evacuate in a drill. That is absurd, of course. Under regulations being debated, building managers will probably have to run full or partial evacuation drills every two years so most people in those buildings will have entered their stairwells at least once. Some people may even descend to the bottom, and they will never forget how long it takes. The disabled will figure out how much assistance they need. The obese will see that they slow down the whole evacuation as they struggle for breath.

Manuel Chea, then a systems administrator on the 49th floor of Tower 1, did everything right on 9/11. As soon as the building stopped swaying, he jumped up from his cubicle and ran to the closest stairwell. It was an automatic reaction. As he left, he noticed that some of his colleagues were collecting things to take with them. "I was probably the fastest one to leave," he says. An hour later, he was outside.

When I asked him why he had moved so swiftly, he had several theories. The previous year, his house in Queens, N.Y., had burned to the ground. He had escaped, blinded by smoke. Oh, yes, he had also been in a serious earthquake as a child in Peru and in several smaller ones in Los Angeles years later. He was, you could say, a disaster expert. And there's nothing like a string of bad luck to prepare you for the unthinkable.