The Fascinating Dog

That ultra-power mullet has got me transfixed, I swear. It's the most imposing, the most awe-inspiring Mullet of Ultimate Energy that I've ever seen, and I've even been to the mullet mountain--http://www.mullet.com/--and have drunk deep of its vibe and flow. Hey, Dog is a guy who can pull off a massively poufed-up platinum mullet, in Hawaii, no less. Get some!

I love watching this guy work. Having lived in Hawaii as a little kid back in 1967-68, and again recently for over three years, it's fun to just watch where he goes, all of the local-kine places he shows up at, and the nonstop flood of local-kine shitheads filling up the jail.

Overall he seems like a nice guy, a genuinely nice guy. I'm disappointed that there hasn't been more conflict on the show, though. Not conflict between the "cast" members, as is the typical scripting response for reality TV. I'd like to see a lot more physically violent take-down of fugitives. There was that one time Leland got into it with the loudmouth shithead owner of the sleazy motel, but that wasn't much of a fight. I figured Leland would pummel the living shit out of that guy, but it devolved very quickly into a boring grapple, a draw. Leland, work on your one-shot take-down shots, the head-butt to the bridge of the nose, the Thai kickboxing kick to the side of the knee, the police headlock.

And then there's Wife Beth. Fascinating thing to watch. Me, I dig older women, so Beth is right there in the perfect range. But hell, every season her breasts get bigger. They're absolutely ridiculous now, just jaw-droppingly silly. Yes, there is too much of a good thing, and it's going on inside her bra. And the make-up and the outfits are too much, too. She's fun to watch, though, and I sure wouldn't want to piss her off up close.

So, have a gander at Dog and his crew, and suppor their show. Good fun.