Musing on High-End Resort, Ahem, "Amenities"

It hit me as I sat in the resort's overpriced French restaurant. The wife and I were having their expensive dinner, a typical "fine dining" experience involving exotic ingredients, artistic presentation, miniscule portions, spotty and snobby service, and a bill for two adults that would feed a local family for an entire week. Yeah, whatever, the wife enjoys it, so I'm in, happily, with both feet. I'd rather go to the Burger King, but it's no big deal.

And she's wearing the sexy underwear I set out. And after dinner we're going to get it on. I don't mind the situation at all.

I was facing the bar, and got to watch the bartender lovingly clean all of the glasses, holding them up to check for spots. Okay, that's a good thing, the kind of attention to detail that they should have, especially in a place that's getting $9.50 for a mixed drink. And in and out trooped the wealthy and trendy folks that keep a high-end resort like this in the green. Lots of guys who looked like they were right out of Ralph Lauren ads, with the perfect hair and teeth, just the right tan, manicures, a little bit of gray at the temples, a new manicure, the whole bit. All of them in that 45-60 frame, young-ish but not doddering old, on top of their game, on top of the world, knowing what they're about, how to get it, and eager to get some more of it. Yeah, that kind of standard economic status posing and blah blah blah whatever.

Most of the guys were with what appeared to me to be their ladies. Again, very well taken care of women in that 45-60 range. Immaculately preserved, with the perfect hair and teeth and nails, in the little black dresses, very well maintained and fit, with the tan and the jewelry all in the right places. Most of them blond, duh, with that slightly longer than shoulder length standard cut. Extremely sexy, but appropriate for their age, not trashy or over the top, just right for the place. For my sensibilities these women were just about right, except for the overly thin part. What can I say, I've always been a MILF-y kind of guy.

But they clearly were not young and vital and large-breasted, not bikini models or swimsuit calendar girls, not in 5" spike heels with the outline of a miniscule thong clearly visible under the constricting tightness of a sheer white micro-mini, not with permed-out big hair full of volume, not college coeds out for fun in their nubile prime, with just the right amount of make-up, just that little bit beyond appropriate. They weren't young and out for wild fun, thrilled to death to be with a man of means and power and charm and smug vitality. They weren't young and awed by the ride in the Mercedes SL600; they were thoroughly accustomed to it, long since fully entitled to it.

But there were a number of young ladies just like that, moving through the restaurant, at the bar with the slightly graying Polo ad guys. These young ladies were just out of place enough for me to place them, most easily.

That's when the question came to me: how does a place like this, kind of way out in the relative central Atlantic seaboad boonies, mesh its operations with this aspect of 'business?' Of course, a place like this draws men who know what they want, know when they want it, and have the resources to make it happen. So does the hotel/resort enable them in any way, or are they on their own to arrange for their escorts?

If the men are on their own, what business supplies the young ladies? Is it a city-based business? I mean, the nearest big city is a good 80 miles away. That's not too far, but on a busy weekend night, that's a wait time of at least two hours, probably more. Would Polo ad guy want to wait that long, or would he have just made the plans and made arrangements before arriving? I'd think that most of the guys there would think ahead, and if they were headed to a place like that and knew they'd be in a position to take advantage of escort services, that it would all be set up far in advance.

But then again, there would be some would-be customers who would suddenly, impulsively want to dabble in escort services. So who do you call? The local town is a mountain hamlet, and the young ladies there, while comely and down to earth, probably wouldn't quite have the level of sophistication and most definitely not the wardrobe to get in on resort escort operations.

So would an escort company have a forward-deployed satellite office? The big-city escort service has a local office in Mountain Hamlet where the ladies wait for their opportunities to shine? I guess that would be one business model, but then again, would their be surpluses, shortages? Would there be needless waiting, young ladies not called forth, a valuable commodity not producing income? I would see an opportunity here for the intrepid entrepeneur.

And what of the hotel's complicity? Just about every hotel I've ever stayed at, the low-budge and the insanely expensive and exclusive, the American and the foreign, had a way for a male guest to very, very quickly make arrangement for escort services, if that is what the male guest would like. Usually it's the concierge guys (not the concierge gals), sometimes the bell hops. These guys probably get a cut up front, maybe a percentage, maybe a flat rate for proper referrals. Yeah, that's commerce, the power of the market at work.

But in a really snooty place like this, a privately owned hotel with the philanthropist owner's private artwork collection up there on the club floor, would that be countenanced? (Of course, if I owned the place, of course it would be.) Who knows, really? It's a fact of life, and I would guess that if the hotel knows about it, then they just kind of let it happen. As long as things don't get public or ugly or out of hand, then there's really no reason to step in and take charge of a situation that doesn't need to be taken charge of. Does the General Manager know? Yeah, probably. Does the owner know? Yeah, probably.

And the last question I mused on, as I drank my over-expensive wine with the uninspiring dinner: how much would these ladies be charging? Now, straight sex with a lady for money is a function of a number of variables. Hookers are cheap. Prostitutes, usually a little bit more expensive. Call girls, yet more expensive. Escorts, yeah, they're going to be at the top of the menu.

And then there's venue. If they're walking the street, it's going to be cheap. If they're coming to the very well-known and highly expensive resort hotel, it's going to be expensive. If you're boinking in the cab of your Peterbilt, it's not going to be that much; if you're bumping uglies on the 500 thread-count Egyptian cotton king-sizes of the hotel, then it's going to be a lot more expensive.

Then there's just the remoteness of the location, the distance from source to consumption. Would these girls get mileage, or the escort equivalent? Would this be considered a long-distance outcall, or would the business be mature to the point that this venue was a relatively stable and common one, despite its distance? You'd have to think there'd be at least some kind of surcharge for the distance (assuming the big-city-centered business operation).

So overall, I was figuring at least $500/night for these ladies, probably more. Not like I've got any true experience in this; I just enjoy studying it and speculating on it. It's something no one wants to acknowledge, but it's happening whether you like it or not, and just about everyone involved is getting something out of it.

And after dessert I just took the elevator up to five, went into the suite with my sweet lady wife, and did the exact same thing for free. Well, maybe the $240 dinner didn't make it quite free, but free enough.